It's amazing how if you just give things time and patience, you begin to understand shit. (:

I have been through a lot of stressful shit lately. I graduate this May and I've been used a few times in the past couple months, but I am totally past it.

The only thing that's recently been bothering me is the fact that I got put on anti-depressants and am back in therapy, but it's not seeming to work. Instead of making me feel better, I feel more dead. -__-


And I gave love a bit, played the field. I am falling in love with one of my good friends. He wrote me a song that I heard for the first time today and I am just so intrigued by him. And from everything he tells me, he is feeling the same way. He lives a state away, but we are seeing each other soon. We've known each other for such a long while now. (:






So, in spite of some of that shitty life stuff that always brings people down,
I am good. (:


Go add me on myspace!!
myspace(dot)com/88797428

How in time you learn so many different things. And half the time, they aren't even what you expected them to be.

It's weird how when I reflect back on everything right now, I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be, I'm no one near who I wanted to be.

I'm failing everything. I used to do so well in school. Now I'll barely make it to college. I have a 1.1 GPA and am very discouraged. My career aspirations seem so far out of reach now.

I quit my job. I've been umemployed. The few places I have applied haven't hired me because the day I called and quit my job, the store manager understood. But no one else knew I guess and my manager "fired" me so I'm pretty much fucked for now. Plus, trying to just pass my senior year has me so tied up that I don't have time for a job anyway.

The parents are still going to get a divorce. And get this, I moved out of my mom's and am living with my dad in his new house out in Rio Rancho. From all the things you used to know about me on here and how much I hated my father, you probably would have never assumed I'd be living with him. It's great to know some people in the world can change for the good. [=

I fell in love.. Have been for months with a boy who used to make me so happy. Every moment I spent with him, I cherish still to this day. I don't know what happened. He said I became too demanding or something of that sort and now we just don't seem to get along. He treats me like shit, even as friends. Last night I told him I'm done with being treated horrible and I deserve to wake up feeling happy and great each morning. I also said that I'd still love to be his girlfriend but I'm done waiting for him to change and I'm done waiting for him to decide when the time of day will happen for me. I said I don't understand what time will offer in the future that I can't already offer now. He said he thought we'd be better as friends and I agreed. I told him I still loved him, I'm still IN love with him, and that won't ever change.. But we fought again today. He's trying to cut me out of his life completely. Deleting my number, deleting me from MySpace. He said he didn't care about my feelings. I said I would have rather had him still lying to me than to lose him as a friend and he said he didn't care. I want to not care for a change, but it's still so hard.

Lauren and I.. Where do I begin with her? She's still so beautiful and precious to me. She kind of doesn't trust me anymore because she had a relationship with this one guy in the past who she I guess fell in love with and he for some time has been telling me he loves me and he has a crush on me and I've been here for him when no one else would help and all of these other things. And we joke around and flirt and hit on each other and I guess she went through his phone and read all of those things and she got very upset with me. After it happened, I understood and I would have been too. Especially if it was someone I loved. I'm still very much in love with her also.


I'm tired. So exhausted. I've been up for like two and a half days straight trying to finish reading a novel by Barack Obama and do the supplementary reading report that is due with it. /= Ridiculous, I tell you!

I must go for now. I miss all of you on here and all the nice, pleasant things we used to talk about. [= I hope to hear from you soon. I Have a myspace if you want to check it out.

www . myspace . com / 88797428

Remove the spaces and you got it. Peace!

I had to get on here to find some shit for school.. and wow. Haha It's ridiculous how long I haven't been on here.

A lot in my life has changed. I'm a senior this year and I'm focused hard on doing great this year.. I'm also in love. His name is Ricky and he's amazing. He's my ex and we're working on being friends and hopefully more again but I won't complain. He's still the one that has my heart. Lauren is great also. It's been five years and she's still here for me. And she's even more beautiful than before!!


Talk to me on these, I miss all of you.
[link] (Make sure you tell me who you are)
[link]

it really has been such a log time since i've been on here. i'm so surprised i remembered my password! haha. well.. so much has happened to me recently, it's crazy.


the family life STILL sucks and i don't really expect that to change, quite honestly. but i'm not going to complain or anything because i know for a fact i could have it soo much worse. i miss my dad though, he's been in jail for a while now and it's very hard on me not being able to talk to him every day. ]:

lauren and i are still like best friends. not really dating anymore. you know? haha. but i have fallen in love with two amazing guys. one's my ex of like 92742 times but we love each other so much. his name is time. he's amazing to me in every way possible. he's 16 and way cute. [: the other is jonathan. he lives in flordia and he's pretty sick. his birthday is feb 2nd, he'll be 18. he's in a band by the way haha.

and yeah. school's good except i don't go much anymore. i dislike it. sad sad.

but yeah. hit me up sometime. i'd love to talk to all of you who i haven't spoken to in ages.

AIM- xDEVOUR Thy Sins
MySpace- [link]

Well, life has been treating me fairly recently. Nothing incredibly horrible has happened but nothing incredibly amazing has either. I've had my heart broken a couple times and I think I'm in love too. I'm still with Lauren and I love her tons. But I also like this guy named Kory<33. He pretty much knows how I Feel about him soo I'm content. (:

I'll try to update my stuff soon and post some of my current work. I miss this site so much since I've been preoccupied with school, work, and myspace. Bahh. That's no excuse.

Let me know how you guys have been! Much love to all!!

-Rochelley.